you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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