weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
