in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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