New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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