I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
