if you like me you must not know who I am
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
