i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
