her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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