My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
