you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
