im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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