Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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