Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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