The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
