just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Randomize
