New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
