Kiss
Puke
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
