I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
