absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
