the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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