just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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