This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
