Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
