I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
