I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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