I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
