you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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