You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
