I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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