ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
