its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
