I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
