I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
