I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
