I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
