he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
