I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
