So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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