just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
