There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
