You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
