I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
