do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
