I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Drunk is not a location!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
