You smell like stripper and shame
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
