This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
