do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
