dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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