Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
