why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
