I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
